careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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