quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I take back everything I said about communal showers
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
