Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I have fence marks all over my body
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
