Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
