I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Randomize
