maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
