I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
