Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
