We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
