Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
