Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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