I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize