I only kidnapped one of them. chill
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I got inside last night via doggy door
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
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