Quick, to the slutcave!
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
