just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
