you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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