How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Too much gin, very little bucket
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Randomize
