We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
