Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
