It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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