I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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