Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Randomize
