I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
No more Irish car bombs ever.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
