you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
