it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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