The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
You are a genius and a whore.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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