No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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