He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I'm sobbing to NWA
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
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