covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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