i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
