I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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