Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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