Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
