So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
The ass gains better be worth it
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