I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Randomize
