So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
