Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
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