Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Randomize
