No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
