Everything about him screamed your future.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize