He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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