Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
