Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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