in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
