I want to walk on stilts...naked
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
