I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
It's rum buckets o'clock
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
