so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
