Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
