You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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