To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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