As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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