I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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