Screwed.edu
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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