So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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