So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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