If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
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