If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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