Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I want you more than these girls want KFC
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
