What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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