He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
