belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
