bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Randomize