Small penises have feelings too.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
