Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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