oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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