Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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