Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
