If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
God gave him joint rollers for hands
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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