If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
