I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
