She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
