Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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