Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
