I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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