The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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