I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
