I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
